The Highs And Lows Of Being A First Time Mum

The Highs And Lows Of Being A First Time Mum

By Victoria Richardson.

Published: 14th March 2022.

Today's guest blogger, Victoria Richardson, Vickkie to her family and friends, is a wonderful Mum from Lincolnshire. Originally from Skegness she moved to the suburbs of Lincoln a few years ago. She is married to her amazing husband and is mummy to her beautiful rainbow baby Bridget & to fur baby Hugo the cat. She works as a Management Accountant for a local manufacturing company & when she's not working she loves long walks in the countryside & finding exciting things to do in the local area.
Read more honest and endearing blogs by Vickkie on her website:
Chasing Rainbows in Wellies

It's probably best to start from the beginning & give a small insight into our journey to start a family...

I live in a small village in Lincolnshire with my husband & cat, & for over 4 years we had been trying to have a baby. Unfortunately we suffered a number of miscarriages along the way. We sought help from the charity Tommy's & with their support & knowledge we welcomed our gorgeous rainbow baby in May 2021.

I think all the years of trying & hoping meant we weren't in shock or surprise of how hard parenting can be...we actually craved it. Being exhausted didn't bother me, as the sadness we had been through was much, much worse. I genuinely couldn't wait to moan about having 2 hours of sleep! 

What I wasn't prepared for was "Mum Guilt".

I never thought I would get cross or upset with our baby, but sleep deprivation does crazy things to you. Our daughter is exclusively breastfed, which is such a lovely bonding experience but in those first 3 months it can feel like a job that never stops & I felt like a dairy cow. I was up every 2 hours feeding her, but also had to hold her upright for 30 minutes after every feed as she had silent reflux, and because of this she hated being put in her "next to me" crib & would wake up crying as soon as I put her down. So most of the time we slept in bed together....which was terrifying, so I didn't actually sleep much at all. I'd look over at my husband fast asleep with his useless man nipples & really not like him! I got quite snappy with everyone around me, and with our daughter when she wouldn't settle. There were a couple of times where I had to walk out of the room & let her cry for a minute, just to gather my head. I felt absolutely awful for doing it, felt horrible for just wanting her to be quiet & felt even worse that I was even feeling that way as I know we are so, so lucky to have her in our lives. 

Thankfully at about 8 weeks old I started taking her to our local baby group & it genuinely made me feel 1 million times better.

Talking to other mums who were going through the same thing at the same time was such a relief.

It also made play times easier as it gave me so many good ideas to keep her stimulated, which in turn made her rest better. When she was about 4 months old we were going to 4 classes a week. Most of these were completely free. She loved all the interaction with other babies & I loved meeting other mums. 

Our daughter is now almost 10 months old & really settled. I am back to work, & getting some good sleep now she is in her own room. It really makes so much difference. 

So, to anyone reading this & thinking they are on their own & not coping. It is very, very normal to feel like that & the best thing to do is reach out to someone. It could be a friend, family member or baby group, whichever works for you.

Being a mum is tough, massively overwhelming & tiring, but it's also the best job in the world.....even if it means you no longer know what a hot cup of tea tastes like.  

 

To anyone struggling with baby loss or parenting following baby loss Tommy's is a wonderful charity who can help:

Baby loss information and support | Tommy's (tommys.org)

NCT is another charity who can provide support on a variety of new parenting issues:

The UK's leading charity for parents | NCT

As can Home-Start UK:

Home-Start UK

 

Leave a comment

* Required fields

Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.